Given the state of affairs, Texas has been firmly in the limelight, what with the attempts to legislate transgender people out of existence. Despite this bleak and harrowing way of life, the show must go on, and Mikaela Bellamy, who publishes her music under the name MTF, is moving forward as a one-woman army. At its core, her music is nu metal, though it brings together elements of shoegaze, grindcore, and hip-hop. Independent and DIY down to the distribution, Bellamy has been publishing under the MTF name since the fall of 2021, with her most recent EP Moths dropping last September.
Now more than ever, it is crucial to highlight LGBTQ+ artists, as freedom of expression falls under attack from the current administration and its proponents. Thus the need for this conversation was necessitated. We talk about the state of nu metal, the influence of legacy acts, and the trans experience in a battleground state.
Your most recent EP Moths is bookended by aggression with a four minute instrumental sandwiched in between. What was the thought process behind structuring the EP as such?
First of all, I’d like to thank you for inviting me to do this interview, it’s quite the honor!
Every song that I write and record as MTF comes straight from my heart, and as such, I often write about experiences I’ve had that aren’t particularly positive. This is especially noticeable on the self-titled album, which covers topics ranging from gender dysphoria, to suicidal ideation, to adultery. After the bombardment of depressive, misanthropic lyrics and manic, almost nonstop aggressive music of the self-titled debut, I wrote a handful of songs to display the softer melodic side of MTF and establish that not every song has to be negative, and can even be elegant and uplifting. “Autism” is about hoping to free oneself from stigmatism and the trauma and pain surrounding it. “Loose Lush” is about making the move to distance yourself from a toxic relationship. “Time Vampire” is an instrumental I wrote to reflect the sorrow I felt at the time for having wasted so much time thinking of those who physically and mentally tormented me; friendships that never worked because of petty squabbles, relationships that never worked because of manipulation and conflicts of interest, credit I felt I never deserved over mistakes I’ve made. I wanted to move on from all of it; forget all about it and become a better version of myself. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I won’t face further hardships in life, because that’s an inevitability. I’m just learning to stop dwelling on them and growing as a person.
What is the significance of the moth to you, as you’ve named your latest release after the creature?
Not only are moths cute little furballs that I can’t get enough of, but I chose to name the EP “Moths” and use moths as a metaphor in the lyrics to signify the desire to free oneself from darkness and pain. This is because moths are attracted to light, and they use the moon and the stars to fly at night time. However, moths also tend to be easily attracted to lightbulbs, often confusing them for the moon, thus making it more difficult to go where they need to. It’s just like how the human mind can easily be lulled into a false sense of progress. It all makes sense… I think.
What’s with this tag on Genius?
Haha! Well, outside of music, I have been making and collecting low-budget, underground movies (particularly in the horror genre) since I was a teenager. Being so active in the scene at the time, I made quite a few connections over Facebook and other social media with other indie filmmakers and horror fans. “Amityville Vibrator” was a movie made in 2020 by horror director Nathan Rumler, who I bought a DVD copy from over Facebook. Essentially, the movie is a transgressive, low-budget erotic horror-comedy made to parody the “Amityville Horror” franchise, as well as the onslaught of other absurd titles made to parody the same franchise. But anyways, the tagline on the front of the DVD cover reads “FOR GOD’S SAKE, GET OFF!”, which was too good not to sample in the song. As much as it was included as a nod to an obscure piece of media, I specifically chose to use the tagline for rhetorical purposes. “Ahegao” is written from the perspective of someone suffering from an addiction while struggling to overcome it. Many of the song’s lyrics can apply to a variety of addictions, but overall it’s heavily implied that the narrator suffers from pornography addiction and is trying to diminish their urges to relapse. Though, as a result, that makes the use of the tagline quite ironic considering the song’s message.
Your raps in “Stirred Up” and “Ahegao” feature some blistering speed in your delivery. What do you consider to be the best rap verse in or out of nu metal?
Maybe it’s a cliche choice, but “Spit It Out” by Slipknot never fails to hype me up. The breakneck pace of Corey Taylor’s raps combined with the venomous words he spits out at his aggressor seamlessly meld together into a memorable staple of the nu metal genre; an inspiration I happily wore on my sleeve for my vocal delivery in “Stirred Up”, and a banger I find myself casually singing sometimes.
There’s a definite influence of hardcore punk in songs like “Cutthroat” and “Drive.” How much overlap do you see between the hardcore scene and nu metal?
From the dynamics between harsh, strained screams and melodic vocal hooks, to rhythmic yet aggressive drumming, to confrontational and often introspective lyrics, sometimes down to the band’s unwillingness to suck up to commercialism, there is a considerable amount of overlap between nu-metal and hardcore as genres. Obviously, that’s not to say that neither nu metal nor hardcore bands can’t be commercially successful in spite of their dissonance. In fact, the contrary has been proven many times with groups like Knocked Loose and Korn just to name a few. The problem though is that most commercially successful artists and songs tend to sound homogeneous and struggle to stand out amongst each other. This is why I can always appreciate an artist or band infinitely more when they are willing to try something unique or deliver their music more bluntly. Two nu metal bands I love who come to mind immediately and who also incorporate elements of hardcore in their work are LeFT and Dr. Vankmahn, two groups cut tragically short. The sound of either band can be described as noisy, chaotic and dense due to their hardcore edge, but few can predict when neither band is afraid to become emotional or melodic, even if it means bending genres within the same song. It makes listening to the artist that much more rewarding, and it’s fascinating to see a band evolve into something new as they continue writing music. For instance, Scapegoat is another band that started off playing nu-metal, although clearly influenced by punk, and took more of a post-hardcore approach with each subsequent release. You listen to their 2000 outing Two On One and then 2008’s Zombie Dog, and you almost can’t tell they’re the same band.
What nu metal lyric do you think resonates the most with the trans experience?
What I find interesting about both nu metal and the trans experience is their shared diversity. Both trans and cis people generally all have their own experiences, accomplishments and frustrations, and while nu metal as a genre is so varied in terms of sounds, styles and attitudes, one thing that remains consistent is the use of personal lyrics that anyone regardless of their experience could latch on to.
If I were to pick a nu metal lyric that reminded me of my experience specifically as a trans person, it would be from the Incubus song “Nice To Know You”. The lyric in question is “Perspective pries your once weighty eyes and it gives you wings”. In my life experience as a trans person, I feel like I’ve often had to justify or explain my very existence to those who question it, challenge it, or don’t understand what it’s like. Especially in today’s social climate, trans people are being unfairly scrutinized as much as ever and are sometimes regarded as criminals merely for existing. I believe that empathy is a virtue and it is important to offer your perspective to those who don’t understand how you think or feel, and vice-versa. It is relieving to know that others empathize with you for once, just as it is freeing to stop engaging with those who don’t want to or refuse to understand you.
What is your take on Linkin Park’s reunion, as well as of the recent renaissance of nu metal bands?
I have no problem whatsoever with Linkin Park continuing as a band. Although it’s doubtful that any other vocalist will fill the void left after Chester Bennington’s passing, I can appreciate the rest of the group trying to move on and advance as artists without it feeling like an attempt at cash-grabbing, despite what some might say. Linkin Park is no doubt an important band and were responsible for helping shape the nu metal landscape as we know it, helping diversify a genre once oversaturated with groups trying to be the next Korn or the next Limp Bizkit (no disrespect to either band intended). Speaking of diversity, it’s insane to think that nu metal as a genre persists in 2025, and on top of that there are so many up and coming artists delivering their own spin on the genre. On one hand, you have artists like Memorrhage (R.I.P.) and Gonemage, who aren’t afraid to blend their heavy brand of nu-metalcore with chiptune and more industrial-driven sounds. On the other hand, you have solo projects such as Hurry and X’s & Y’s which incorporate elements of djent and progressive metal. Nevertheless, they all remind you of the nu metal era of the 90’s with their infectious riffs and melodies. Some other innovative modern nu metal and adjacent projects worth noting include bands like Dropspike, Shifter, Jynx, Shabnak, .bHP and Tallah, all of whom prove that listening to nu metal in 2025 is as refreshing as it would have been in 1999. I can only curse myself so much for being born too late to experience that era, haha.
What would you say is the importance of music in the current geopolitical climate?
At the risk of sounding corny, I think music is such an amazing art form not just because of its ability to entertain and to enlighten, but it consistently holds the power to bring people together; unite folks of different cultures and backgrounds and help society progress in times of turmoil. It’s no secret that the current geopolitical climate is hazy at best. Being five years removed from a global epidemic and still feeling its effects, conflicts of interest between Russia and Ukraine, and Israel and Palestine, large scale corruption and bastardization of federal and local government across many lands, it’s safe to say humanity continues to sink into hard times. I’ve observed that protesting, voting and advocating for positive change can only do so much to influence society at large, when music capable of delivering the same message is one of the few things that can accumulate a crowd of every kind of person imaginable.
For more of Mikaela's music, check out her Bandcamp page.
